Looking back on raising my daughters, one tradition stands out: reflection.
Even when they were little, after bedtime stories and cuddle time and the final switch-off of the light, my last question each night would be, What was the highlight of your day?
It gave them pause. A small moment to look back and recognise what had been good. Some highlights were bigger than others — an adventure, a playdate, an outing, an activity they’d been excited about. Other times it was something small: a rainbow, a treat, a bubble bath, a joke in the car. And that was the point. The highlight didn’t have to be dramatic. It just had to be noticed. I would always follow it with, And what are you looking forward to tomorrow? So they went to sleep thinking forward. Anticipating. Imagining. Drifting off in a positive frame of mind, already leaning into the next day.
We carried this into family holidays as well.
At the end of each day we’d ask again — what was the highlight? Sometimes it was something spectacular: a special animal sighting in a national park, a landscape that took our breath away. Other times it was an unusual find — a tiny, fascinating museum no one expected, a great street meal, getting caught in the rain on the beach and laughing about it afterwards.
And of course, the highlights were different for each person. That in itself is interesting. One child might choose the dramatic moment; another might choose the small detail — a particular bird, even a dung beetle rolling its treasure across the sand. What we notice says something about how we see the world. I carried the tradition into New Year’s Eve. Every year, I gather the family — and often friends too — and I ask the same question: What was the highlight of your year?
Not all years are easy. Some are tough. But there is always something good to be found.
Even in 2020 — which, globally, was heavy — we found highlights. Long chats around the fire during lockdown. A slightly chaotic mask-making business. Discovering new music because we were bored of our old playlists. Unexpected pockets of family time that we might otherwise have rushed past. The question itself is simple.
What was the highlight of your day?
Your holiday?
Your year?
But it creates a habit of noticing; of savouring; looking for the good, even when the year has been uneven. It has become a treasured tradition in our family. I hope my daughters carry it forward in some shape or form, and perhaps adapt it in their own way. It has already spread quietly to friends, who always join in when they’re here.
Questions and reflections—always something to ponder.